the great happiness space

its poetic justice. that the ones who sell happiness should be the saddest of all.


he was tired.

his head was throbbing. his mouth was dry. the cigarette that he had lit for comfort now tasted bitter in his mouth. 'wait. or is that just the taste of alcohol?' Issei didn't know anymore.

"Issei, where are you! i miss you! come back here and join us!"

"of course! i'm sorry for leaving you all alone! don't worry, it won't happen again!"

"liar! you always say it 'won't happen again', but in 5 minutes you'll be gone, attending to someone else!"

"oh, come on, don't say that. i'm here now! let's be happy! let's drink! you first! go! go! go!"

his gut wrenched. 'if i have anymore i'm going to puke'. not too long ago a friend and colleague of his had coughed blood. Issei knew it would be his turn soon. 'my liver is fucked' he winced as the cork flew off another champagne bottle. 'it better not be tonight though,' he looked around at the smiling faces of girls flushed with drunkenness, clinging to his arms, each one clamouring desperately for his attention, 'i have too much work.'

"oh, Issei, i'm having a great time!"

"haha! of course, you are! that's why you come to see me, right?"

"marry me, Issei!"

"are you sure? if i did that, you wouldn't be able to have fun like you're having now! but who knows, right? time will tell what happens between us."

it was an art. tug at the right strings and any girl will stay hooked forever. keep them wanting more. never give them what they want. but yet entice them just enough for them to come back for more. it was an art. and Issei had perfected it. he had to. his next paycheck depended on it.

"but enough of the future! lets have fun right now! right now, its just you and me."

change the subject. redirect their attention. keep them happy. keep them focused on this dream. lie. lie to them. and blind yourself. ignore your morals. there was no room for sympathy here. it was a tricky business. and morals and sympathy was a one way ticket to bankruptcy.

"i love you, too."

"do you, Issei? i don't believe you."

but they did. girls will always believe what they want to believe. all Issei had to do was tell them what they wanted to hear, and he'd have won. for every girl he met, he would have a different approach. 'be like water' mused Issei. to fifteen girls he was fifteen different people. as long as it would make them happy, he could be anyone at all.

and to himself, he was...

he was...

'?'

Issei didn't know anymore. amidst the singing and the music that blared through the club, amongst his drunken clients and his even more drunk colleagues, Issei found himself in a silent void, an ache tearing at his chest. his ears began to ring and the tips of his fingers began to sting. for a split second, Issei forgot to breath.

"Issei! hey, Issei! pay attention! its your turn to drink! you're not drunk are you?"

the music returned. the noise resumed. the ache was quelled. and sucking hard through his nose, Issei blinked himself back to reality.

"what? what are you talking about? me? drunk? you really are the funniest girl in the world, aren't you?"

Issei grabbed the jug, 'i will have to wait.'

"As punishment, you'll have to buy me another jug when i'm done with this!"

"its a deal! go, Issei, go! drink! drink! drink!"

he tilted his head back and emptied the pint of vodka in one swig. his face twisted as he swallowed hard, the burning in his throat and chest almost knocking him over. he breathed out stiffly and turned the jug upside-down over his head. 'like i know where my head is anymore.'

"yay! barkeep! one more for Issei!"

"bring it on!"

the alcohol turned violently in his stomach, but the corners of his lips remained turned up. 'smile, Issei, smile'.


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inspired by The Great Happiness Space, a documentary by Jake Clennel
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6186147595582048109&pr=goog-sl

i know this is an old joke...

... but what crazy weirdo thought that this would make a good nursery rhyme!?


Rock-a-bye baby on the tree top,
when the wind blows, the cradle will rock.
When the bow breaks the cradle will fall,
and down will come baby, cradle and all.


you have to be kidding me! and people sing this to their children to coax them to sleep?! relax and go to bed while you dream of falling from a tree?! what the heck is a baby doing up in a tree?!

if there is any logical, social-politcal reason behind this song, PLEASE tell me.

even something like, "it was created in the time of the black plague, so it was safer for children to be in high places to avoid the germs, but the hopelessness and despair of the time and the dreary, pessimistic situation made people succumb to the futility of their actions which led them to believe that death was unavoidable, even for the sweetest and most innocent of God's children." will do fine to bridge this gap of complete idiocy and appropriateness!

good day!

07/07/07

like so many others who will be posting today, i hereby add my own post to remember this cool but otherwise significantly insignificant day.

hooray!

the girl with kaleidoscope eyes

she stood with the sun in her eyes.

and i could not stop myself from talking to her.

"what are you doing up here, girl with kaleidoscope eyes? what is it that you see?"

she turned her head slowly. purposefully, but nonchalant.

"i see tangerine trees and marmalade skies. cellophane flowers of yellow and green towering over your head. i see a bridge by the fountain where people on rocking horses eat marshmallow pies. i see a world of gold and blue and red."

"but there is nothing here but bricks and mortar. men in suits with files under their arms and papers to their noses. the billowing smoke from trucks and cars. broken windows and leaky hoses."

"you asked me what i saw, and i told you."

i turned to look, too. and slowly, very slowly, a grey fedora turned to red. a rhythmic bob as it is carried away atop a wave of dead commute. a mere trickle amidst a monochrome sea. and with much effort, i thought i could barely comprehend it.

"how beautiful it must be. if only i, too, had kaleidoscope eyes. if only i could be like you."

she blinked. and her eyes sparkled. and with an unwavering honesty, she spoke again.

"why would you want to be like me?"

her voice was faded. and her breath was sore. and with eyes closed, she sighed.

"why would you want to be twice removed from reality?"

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inspired by Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, The Beatles.