the grandma...
... has been accusing the maid of stealing her stuff.
grandma now refers to the maid as (roughly translated) "the thief".
she's recently started telling me that this thing or that is missing from her room.
problem is, i really don't understand maybe three-quarters or more of what she's saying.
so most of the time its her talking and me trying to figure out what it is exactly she's trying to say.
tone of voice, gestures and what little understanding of Cantonese/Hokkien combine together to make a passive listener.
during one such accussational session, she suddenly veered off topic and stared talking about how she raised her children.
something about her children wanting to go to an English-speaking school, and how every cent she had went into paying the tuition fees.
"they say its better, you know. your dad thought so, your aunt thought so. so what could I do? i payed. everything cent i had i used to pay. it was expensive."
she never talked to me about these things before. most times its stuff like "i don't have much appetite anymore." or "look. look at my arm. i suddenly have this spot. it was never there before." or "i wanted to go to the temple, but i get tired so easily now. how can i go? i walk a couple of steps and i'm tired. i'm old."
i don't say anything. i don't know what to say and how to say it. most i know how to say is "yes" or "no" so that leaves me with a lot of nodding and smiling in between.
but this time, i felt like i had enough.
she'd just been showing me all her little hiding spots, and how she couldn't sleep because she's afraid the maid would come in and steal her things in her sleep, and how nobody believes her about the maid stealing her things. 15 mins into this, she pulls up a chair "here come. why don't you sit down."
"i can't stay. i have an appointment." i remained standing, arms folded and my feet turned away.
she's a little hard of hearing, so i have to raise my voice everytime i talk to her.
this time, i thought i sounded dfferent.
maybe it was because her room was small and stuffy, or maybe i was frustrated, but i could hear myself speak. it was almost like i heard it for the first time. and it wasn't pleasant.
she didn't persue the matter and just sat there and sighed.
less than a minute later, my phone rang.
without excusing myself, i left her room and answered it.
a minute later i was back and she had gotten up and was washing her face.
"it's ok. go watch your TV." she said softly.
and i did leave. i went out and had a good time with my friends.
----------------------------------------------------------
i've often given myself the excuse of looking after the grandma, being around the house so that i could do something if anything should happen, as a reason not to study or work overseas. as a reason not to get a regular job so that i could have the time to react to emergencies. as a reason for me to have time to deal with things more important than money, commercial success and fame.
well done, bob.
grandma now refers to the maid as (roughly translated) "the thief".
she's recently started telling me that this thing or that is missing from her room.
problem is, i really don't understand maybe three-quarters or more of what she's saying.
so most of the time its her talking and me trying to figure out what it is exactly she's trying to say.
tone of voice, gestures and what little understanding of Cantonese/Hokkien combine together to make a passive listener.
during one such accussational session, she suddenly veered off topic and stared talking about how she raised her children.
something about her children wanting to go to an English-speaking school, and how every cent she had went into paying the tuition fees.
"they say its better, you know. your dad thought so, your aunt thought so. so what could I do? i payed. everything cent i had i used to pay. it was expensive."
she never talked to me about these things before. most times its stuff like "i don't have much appetite anymore." or "look. look at my arm. i suddenly have this spot. it was never there before." or "i wanted to go to the temple, but i get tired so easily now. how can i go? i walk a couple of steps and i'm tired. i'm old."
i don't say anything. i don't know what to say and how to say it. most i know how to say is "yes" or "no" so that leaves me with a lot of nodding and smiling in between.
but this time, i felt like i had enough.
she'd just been showing me all her little hiding spots, and how she couldn't sleep because she's afraid the maid would come in and steal her things in her sleep, and how nobody believes her about the maid stealing her things. 15 mins into this, she pulls up a chair "here come. why don't you sit down."
"i can't stay. i have an appointment." i remained standing, arms folded and my feet turned away.
she's a little hard of hearing, so i have to raise my voice everytime i talk to her.
this time, i thought i sounded dfferent.
maybe it was because her room was small and stuffy, or maybe i was frustrated, but i could hear myself speak. it was almost like i heard it for the first time. and it wasn't pleasant.
she didn't persue the matter and just sat there and sighed.
less than a minute later, my phone rang.
without excusing myself, i left her room and answered it.
a minute later i was back and she had gotten up and was washing her face.
"it's ok. go watch your TV." she said softly.
and i did leave. i went out and had a good time with my friends.
----------------------------------------------------------
i've often given myself the excuse of looking after the grandma, being around the house so that i could do something if anything should happen, as a reason not to study or work overseas. as a reason not to get a regular job so that i could have the time to react to emergencies. as a reason for me to have time to deal with things more important than money, commercial success and fame.
well done, bob.
posted by bobby @ 5:58 PM
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