the miserable man

"so why're you like that?"

"hm? whad'dya mean?"

"you know, why are you miserable all the time?"

"i dunno... i just am?"

"oh c'mon. no one is "just miserable". its a choice. you can choose to be happy, or you can choose to be miserable."

"i guess... well, now that i think about it, i guess its 'coz i'm lonely."

"what?"

"'misery begs company'."

"oh, harhar, very clever. so if you're not lonely, you won't be miserable? then don't be lonely?"

"you mean like make friends? tried that. didn't like it."

"so you're telling me: you don't like to make friends, and because of that you're lonely, and because of THAT, you're miserable?"

"yeah... pretty much."

"you're pathetic."

"hm... making friends is such a hassle, you know? i mean, you think its as easy as going out, smiling and shaking a few hands. but it really isn't. there's responsibility, there's attachment, there's emotion, there's investment of various and numerous sorts. its very complex, i'm sure you of all people should understand."

"that's what making friends is about. everybody has to do it. what? you're not good at it? is that why you don't like it?"

"not so much as 'being good' as 'having the ability to'."

"you don't have the 'ability to' make friends?!"

"it often starts out simple enough. you find a common interest, hang out, share a few drinks and a laugh. easy. but its when all that other stuff comes in that i begin to have trouble. its easy to make friends. but its hard to be a friend."

"you never take it far enough to even begin to comprehend what you're saying! to me, you're just theorizing. and you're a coward."

"have you ever let anyone down?"

"sure. of course. it happens."

"sucks, doesn't it?"

"yeah, sure. i mean i wouldn't want to be let down by my friends. nobody does."

"and when it does happen. it makes it feel like all that laughing and fun times was a farce. it was something you had to do, like an investment. you had to buy friendship with laughter."

"we all make mistakes. just apologize and move on. you can't feel disappointed forever."

"so you let your friend down and you just 'move on'? pretend it never happened? carry on being happy like before?"

"why not?"

"you hurt someone. you. hurt. someone. you fooled them into liking you and trusting you. you bought them with your laughs and good feelings. and you hurt them."

"its life you know? you feel happy, you feel sad. you get hurt. but it doesn't always have to be that way."

"well..."

"..."

"it only hurts when i laugh."
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inspired by The City of Frownsville, The Powerpuff Girls.