as told by bob

Thursday, November 23, 2006

you mule!

one word has followed me throughout my life.

and it comes as no surprise, i'm sure, to any of you who know me.

the word is: stubborn.

i hate this word. hatehatehate.

but the joke is on you! i will reason thus:

you call me 'stubborn', based on your own standards.

you are therefore imposing your standards on me.

you imposing your standards on me implies, therefore, that you are unable to accept MY standards.

and by refusing to accept my standards, you are yourself not open to alternative standards.

because you are not open to alternative standards, you are, by implication, not willing to compromise your own morals.

and by not being flexible with your own morals, you yourself are therefore, stubborn.

BUAHAHAaahhaAHAHAhaHAAH!


p.s.: not only that, calling me 'stubborn' makes you pushy, narrow-minded and impatient!

p.p.s.: i'm not stubborn!! i'm noooooootttt!!!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

an comic

The bunny peered its head out from behind his curtain and Agatha was happy to see him.

"Hello, So-and-so."

The bunny smiled merrily and jumped onto stage in reply.

"Hey, Agatha."

But Agatha suddenly sighed.

"Things have been pretty rough recently..."

The bunny put one furry paw to its mouth and gasped in concern.

"Oh dear!"

But no sooner had he done so that the bunny sought to lighten the mood.

"Think of something nice. Say it out loud."

Without missing a beat, a delighted Agatha squealed as she watched the bunny do a playful handstand.

"In that case I will say... So-and-so!"

But the bunny was suddenly disappointed and furrowed its furry brow apologetically. It drooped its tuffy white ears as it began to sigh firmly.

"No, Agatha. Not this time..."

And as he bounded away back behind the curtain, Agatha could see only its bushy tail as he heard him continue to say,

"This time think of something real."
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adapted from the comic Art & Agatha by Barnaby Richards, 2004

Saturday, November 04, 2006

ode to video games

i love my video games! have been playing them since i was.. oh..maybe 6.. and through the years i've played a few very special games.. a select few that maybe changed my life forever.
so without further inclinations towards my geekazoid-ish-ness and ado, and in no particular order, i bring you:

THE 10 BEST GAMES I HAVE EVER PLAYED!
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Skies of Arcadia (RPG)
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This is the one of a few game that has ever made me cry.
Even though it is the first game on this list, i am finding it very hard to say exaclty why i like this game so much.
Really the only thing (and many argue the MOST important thing in RPGs) i can truly say struck me is the story (omigod and the opening soundtrack.. beautifully majestic.)
You're a pirate sailing the seven skies in your trusty airship and you're unsuspectingly drawn into an adventure to foil a conspiracy to control ancient powers in order to bring chaos and eventually rule the world. And even that is classic RPG fare.
But as they say, its the execution of the tried and true formulas that seperate the good from the great, and the great from the excellent, and from the excellent to the historically mindblowing (or something like that).
Each character has its own unique and deep story. Each plot point is carefully inserted and resurfaced with just the amount of care. And the ending (wooooh boy the ending!) of this game is the single most satisfying experience i've ever had in a video game.
Story-telling gold.

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Chrono Trigger (RPG)
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A true classic in every sense of the word. One of the best RPGs ever conceived and i dare you to find anyone who's ever played it to honestly say they didn't like it.
The innovative battle system (which is another 'make or break' in RPGs) and its compelling and focused story line, made in the golden age of gaming, is a true masterpiece.
Its hard to say what exactly made this game so great for me (although an epic soundtrack and the aforementioned battle system helps that quite a bit), but it was the overall experience that really made this game shine through.
Do yourself a favor and (a) go to Japan and look for some crazy old coot who's stockpiled thousands of old games and game systems adn buy this game (b) go on ebay and look for the idiot willing to sell his copy OR (c) find a Super Nintendo Entertainment System emulater for your computer and get this game. Now.

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Shadow of the Colossus (Action Adventure)
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The first game of its kind, i believe, to boast nothing but boss battles.
In most action adventures, you're made to wade through hours and hours of levels and puzzles and more hours of (sometimes) pointless interactions with NPCs (non-playable characters. like 'extras' in a film).
Some developers see this as a given, seeing that people won't spend USD60 to play a game that ends in 2 hours.
But the boys who made Shadow of the Colossus had a different take: that the long hours of adventuring take away from the point of the game - that is, to kill the giant monster at the end of the level.
So the solution is obvious... make it a game of purely boss battles!
"But still, if its just boss battles, then the game will STILL end in 2 hours and people STILL won't buy it!"
"Ahah! Not if the bosses are soooooo big that they each take 2 hours to kill!!"
Tadah! Shadow of the Colossus is born!
Ride on your magnificent steed and ride around in a beautiful but barren world, find the big bad colossi and kill them all to save your one true love.
Simple. Elegant. Brilliant.
edit: there's a nice touch added to the ending sequence, that i forgot to mention, that really drives home the theme of the story. so sad. so futile. makes your heart ache.

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Counter Strike (FPS)
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Ah, the hours i've spent playing this game at the obscure lan-shop with buddies (i lurve you all K7!).
I'm not a big fan of First Person Shooters, but the sheer joy of playing this mindless game with friends puts this game on the list easy.

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Halo/Halo2 (FPS)
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For all the hype surrounding this game, i must admit i was slightly turned off when i first discovered it was a First-Person Shooter. I'm not a big shooter fan so i was rather disappointed when i first laid my hands on it on my brother's xbox.
But 2 hours in and i couldn't put it down. It was fast, it was exciting and you could shoot, blow up and run-over alien monsters who are threatening the very existence of man!
My brother boasts of girls who started playing it and gave up shopping to play it! My god if that doesn't convince you nothing will.
You did good with this one Microsoft. Fark!

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Advance Wars (Turn-based Stradegy)
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There is a friend of mine who is not what you would call a gamer. Sure he plays Counter Strike with us and enjoys the occasional Winning Eleven here and there, but thats pretty much it. So imagine my surprise when i bring this gem of a game to my dormitory at school to ease the tension over exams.
I challenge him to a game and he graciously patronized me. We never finished that first game, nor any other games following that, but over the next couple of weeks he would come to my room and relax before the next class and ask, "Eh, bob, where's that fun game, ah? The army one?"
Another one bites the dust. And it really is loads of fun.

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Double Dragon (Action)
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I played this game to pieces on my Nintendo Entertainment System back in the day and it was always a challenge. I really don't remember much of the specific levels or all the moves you could do, but there's a warm feeling inside when i think about this game: the weird squelching noise when you jump, the cool helicopter spin kick special move and the fact that it was a two-player game!
it was a simple two-button affair, but the sheer number of moves was simple staggering for an 8 year old of the time. Like all great games it was easy and fun to pick up and play, but it also took great skill and was always a challenge to get to the end.

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Katamari Damacy (Action Puzzler)
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You have never seen a game like this. And you probably won't ever see one like it again. Ever.
The premise is simple: You roll a 'Katamri' (a sticky, oddly-shaped ball) around, using it to pick up everyday objects that lay strewn on the ground. Your Katamari starts small so you'll only be able to pick little stuff up like ants or paper clips, but as you gather more and more stuff, your Katamari gets bigger and bigger, and you'll eventually be able to pick up things like post boxes, elephants, clouds, mountains, rainbows, islands and eventually the whole solar system!
But the real kicker, is the music. The soundtrack is absolutlely delightful and you'll want to play the game just to hear that special tune.
Play it, and you'll be surprised just how much you'll love it.

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Super Mario Kart (Kart Racer)
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Who can hate Mario? Well... many people i guess, but that doesn't stop him from being one of the most recognizeable characters in video games. Since his grand appearance in Super Mario World (which is the godfather of ALL platform games ever made and which many still regard as THE best platformer ever.), Mario has moved on to many, many other things and many people have critisized Nintendo for using the face of Mario to sell its games.
While this may be true, it is also true that all games with Mario in it have been good, if not great and genre re-defining.
Super Mario Kart was the first of its kind and, in my opinion, is still the best kart racer to this day. Many have tried and many have failed miserably to emulate the perfection of this fun racer and it will be a long time before a better one is made.
You can mark my words on that one.

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Super Bomberman (Action)
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Excuse me? Did you say 4 players?!
This game wouldn't be what it is without that magic number.
You and 3 other friends fight frantically to blow each other up in a square grid using bombs, wits, lightning reflexes and little else. It is the most fun 4 people can have indoors (yup.. better than Twister by a long shot!) and is a must for any respectable party.
Again, its simple to play and tough to master but you can be sure it'll be fast, furious and frantic every step of the way!
I got this game as an 'extra' to a 2-in-1 game i bought. That poor 'other game' never had a chance. Ker-blaowee!


And so ends my list of the 10 best games i've ever played. Each one owns a little piece of my heart that'll forever, never be replaced.
A toast to you mon amie! You complete me!
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tune-in next time for the games that almost made this list. they're great games too... but i said 10 so.. i stuck with that..

Thursday, November 02, 2006

did you know...?

heard of the miracle of Christ who fed an entire congregation of people with only 2 fish and some bread? here's an excerpt from the good book:
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Gospel of Mark 6:34-44

34 Jesus came out, saw a great multitude, and he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd, and he began to teach them many things.

35 When it was late in the day, his disciples came to him, and said, "This place is deserted, and it is late in the day.

36 Send them away, that they may go into the surrounding country and villages, and buy themselves bread, for they have nothing to eat."

37 But he answered them, "You give them something to eat." They asked him, "Shall we go and buy two hundred denarii worth of bread, and give them something to eat?"

38 He said to them, "How many loaves do you have? Go see." When they knew, they said, "Five, and two fish."

39 He commanded them that everyone should sit down in groups on the green grass.

40 They sat down in ranks, by hundreds and by fifties.

41 He took the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven, he blessed and broke the loaves, and he gave to his disciples to set before them, and he divided the two fish among them all.

42 They all ate, and were filled.

43 They took up twelve baskets full of broken pieces and also of the fish.

44 Those who ate the loaves were five thousand men.
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it is also said (in one of the other Gospels) that the 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish came only from a single boy.

wow, a miracle.

but its not really a miracle like its made out to be: that of physically making enough bread and fish to feed 5000 people. its really the miracle of sharing.

Christ did not make all that food. the people had them on their persons all along, but they were just too selfish to share it when the disciples went around asking for food to share.
but they were later so embarrassed by the generosity displayed by a young boy and Christ himself, that they began to take out what they themselves had and passed that around.

hooray.
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"and what kind of ship will never, ever sink?"
"i dunno..."
"a friendship!"

-Friends