think before you open your damn mouth!
yesterday night i ordered a "Malay Ice".
good job bob! waltz into a Malay Muslim cafeteria/bistro/coffee shop, walk up to the Malay Muslim owner, and order a "Malay Ice" in front of 12 or 13 or so Malay Muslim patrons while you're one of only 3 chinese there, the other two being ladies not even old enough to enter zouk without fake IDs... ok, they weren't THAT young but still...
"yah boss, what can i get you?" asked the nice middle-aged Malay Muslim coffeeshop owner.
"Er, one lemon tea, one kopi and... what you want, bob?" asked one aforementioned young lady.
"Errr... Malay Ice satu!" blurted a dumbf**k.
"I'm sorry?" asked coffeeshop owner as he penned down the first 2 drinks dilligently in his little notepad.
"Errrrrm... one MIIIIIILO ice, please." the bastard said.
"All right, no problem."Coffeeshop owner smiles and leaves to take care of our orders, that nice man.
oh god... kill me now. I am a racist f**k. i lived 24+ years to find out only yesterday that i am a racist pig. no. i lived 24+ years DENYING that i am a racist asshole.
i've always tried to look beyond skin color, race... because they mean nothing. what color your hair is or eyes are or skin is does not determine the kind of individual you ARE. to use these things as a benchmark for any one person is simply unfair and down right wrong, even if it might be convenient and less taxing on our brain, you lazy motherf**ker.
"but bob, all you did was order a drink using misplaced words!"
no, my friend. if you knew what was running through my head at the time i let those words leave my mouth... you'd know i was so preoccupied with where i was and who i was associating with and what i had been trying to deal with that you'd have no choice but to agree. so many things went into those words... so much disgust and hate... i could hardly believe it myself.
it was almost exactly like the time i broke a porcelin spoon over breakfast. was having a sugary breakfast cereal thinking about god knows what... when suddenly i snapped the spoon in 2 between my thumb and index finger. i recall that i stopped eating for a couple seconds prior to ending the spoon's usefulness... and i just sat there thinking... preoccupied with some (i can't for the love of all that is pure and good remember what it was right now) distressing issue. and before i knew it, i snapped the spoon in two.
on those 2 occasions i learned some things.
i am broken... from ages and ages ago. i've been hiding behind a barbed fence. i've been stuck behind a brick wall. i've been lying to myself. i am not happy. everything is not fine. and yet, i'll be the last one to ever admit it.
you are a coward, bob. and i cannot forgive you.
good job bob! waltz into a Malay Muslim cafeteria/bistro/coffee shop, walk up to the Malay Muslim owner, and order a "Malay Ice" in front of 12 or 13 or so Malay Muslim patrons while you're one of only 3 chinese there, the other two being ladies not even old enough to enter zouk without fake IDs... ok, they weren't THAT young but still...
"yah boss, what can i get you?" asked the nice middle-aged Malay Muslim coffeeshop owner.
"Er, one lemon tea, one kopi and... what you want, bob?" asked one aforementioned young lady.
"Errr... Malay Ice satu!" blurted a dumbf**k.
"I'm sorry?" asked coffeeshop owner as he penned down the first 2 drinks dilligently in his little notepad.
"Errrrrm... one MIIIIIILO ice, please." the bastard said.
"All right, no problem."Coffeeshop owner smiles and leaves to take care of our orders, that nice man.
oh god... kill me now. I am a racist f**k. i lived 24+ years to find out only yesterday that i am a racist pig. no. i lived 24+ years DENYING that i am a racist asshole.
i've always tried to look beyond skin color, race... because they mean nothing. what color your hair is or eyes are or skin is does not determine the kind of individual you ARE. to use these things as a benchmark for any one person is simply unfair and down right wrong, even if it might be convenient and less taxing on our brain, you lazy motherf**ker.
"but bob, all you did was order a drink using misplaced words!"
no, my friend. if you knew what was running through my head at the time i let those words leave my mouth... you'd know i was so preoccupied with where i was and who i was associating with and what i had been trying to deal with that you'd have no choice but to agree. so many things went into those words... so much disgust and hate... i could hardly believe it myself.
it was almost exactly like the time i broke a porcelin spoon over breakfast. was having a sugary breakfast cereal thinking about god knows what... when suddenly i snapped the spoon in 2 between my thumb and index finger. i recall that i stopped eating for a couple seconds prior to ending the spoon's usefulness... and i just sat there thinking... preoccupied with some (i can't for the love of all that is pure and good remember what it was right now) distressing issue. and before i knew it, i snapped the spoon in two.
on those 2 occasions i learned some things.
i am broken... from ages and ages ago. i've been hiding behind a barbed fence. i've been stuck behind a brick wall. i've been lying to myself. i am not happy. everything is not fine. and yet, i'll be the last one to ever admit it.
you are a coward, bob. and i cannot forgive you.
posted by bobby @ 5:47 PM
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