omigod, i'm (almost) a woman

i think i know why i write in here now...

its a fear of loneliness. i'm afraid to be alone. its that simple.

by giving of a part of myself, throwing it out into the wilderness if you will, i place myself in someone elses company, and that gives me comfort. my scribbles are no longer my own. they are the property of an anonymous public, whose very facelessness allows someone as private and proud as myself to put forth and display my moments of weakness, such as the one i'm having right now. in this selfish way i share my burden, yet can remain aloof and safe in the knowledge that few will know who i really am as i draw attention to myself, because these post are exactly that... a cry to be heard and to be noticed.

for those who do know me... well, they might have a good jab at me later on, but that'd be plain uncivil so what would they do? i suspect they'd keep quiet about it, too, because a) i'd deny it, and b) i'd deny it and c) its really not worth bringing up is it? i mean, we all know what these kinds of posts are and i suspect many have written them... so cool, you've read what i had to type. yay.

then again, i'm not assuming does anyone care... but if you do... thanks... just don't talk about it.